Online Dating


If the truth be told, I think online dating is scary. Have I partaken of the event? Yep, and escaped unscathed with a new attitude about meeting my neighbor’s, brothers, cousin’s, uncle’s, plumber’s friend. Seriously. At least the man comes with references.

Don’t laugh. Think about it. When you go to the online dating sites they ask you all sorts of questions designed to supposedly match you -with a high degree of accuracy they claim, with the man of your dreams. The problem, as I see it, is that while you may have told the truth – for the most part, he most likely did not.

You selected “a little overweight” and he selected athletic build. You are probably not very much overweight and he has, more than likely, never had an athletic build. You are 5’8” and he says he is 6’. Yeah, more like 5’6”, maybe 5’10”, but several inches from 6’. Have you ever noticed how the height of a man claiming to be 5’10 and a woman who is 5’10’ show a marked difference?

You have some college and he has a PhD. You work for a living and he is either a high powered attorney, head of some large company you have never heard of or, he owns this multi-million dollar business that Google can’t find. Amazing. He has 0 children and has never been married. Oh, and this is his first time doing online dating.

The man is too good to be true. The entire time you guys are communicating via the www, he makes you feel so important, so pretty, so wanted. You are no princess, you are a full figured queen. As a matter of fact you are something else and that something is in love. OMG! The best part of all is that he is in love too and can not wait to meet you.

In a perfect world he lives near enough to make the visit easier for you both. You’ll be the woman with the red dress on and he will be the man in the fedora. Yeah, I said fedora. And on that special day you show up early enough to get a good seat hoping you can spot him before he sees you. So you sit and you wait and you sit and you wait and just as you are about to give it up, disheartened and disappointed, you hear someone call your name. You look up and stare into the eyes of the ugliest frog you have ever seen. But hey, after your initial shock you decide it ain’t so bad. Okay, so he’s not exactly what you saw in the picture he emailed to you and he is a bit shorter than he said he was, but hey, he showed up – right?

Two months, four days, and five hours into the relationship, you have had enough. While you are trying to think of a way out of this online mess, he is making plans to move in with you. When you tell him you don’t want to see him anymore, he suddenly becomes your stalker. No worries, he still has his page up on that dating site where you two first fell in love and soon he will convince another unsuspecting woman that he is the man of her dreams. Then, and only then, will you be off the hook.

Nah, too much trouble. I want a man with references. As a matter of fact, my oldest daughter once suggested to me that we should create an application for potential suitors. I can’t see a man actually filling one out-unless of course it allows him to participate in a buffet of women who willingly overlook the obvious. But you can do it for him. Hmm, baby girl, we need to work on that idea.

Anyways, let me repeat myself – I prefer a man with references. If he is unattractive, you know it up front. You know where he went to school; how many times he’s been married; how many baby mama’s he has; if he has a job, and on and on. Yep, a man with references trumps an online liar every time.

One last thought. A man who looks for love online is just raking up booty calls. Everyone knows that a man, short, tall, fat, ugly, whatever, does not have to do online dating. He can meet women at the grocery store just as easily. I don’t buy the excuse of being too busy to really go out and meet anyone so online is the best thing. Come on let’s be honest. Any man worth dealing with isn’t online. I could be wrong, but I highly doubt it. Best thing to do is go for the one with references.


I’m just saying.