Why Do We Stand In Judgment of Others

I’m guilty or, at the least, I have been guilty of holding others to my sense of what is right and what is sho’ ‘nuff wrong; how much a person should take off of another person and for how long. I can be critical and judgmental but, I promise, never in a mean spirited way.  So, let’s just say that I use to think if people were too stupid to know up from down it didn’t have a damn thing to do with me. And I still do think that way – to a point.  I certainly don’t think that my sh!# smells like roses while everyone else’s stinks. We could all burn a little incense or scented candles when we get caught up in our own mess. Still, none of us own the market when it comes to being a little stupid – it is a free market after all.
In case I am not being clear, let me ask a few questions. How many of us have been in relationships where we were taken advantage of? Had a man who wasn’t really pulling his weight but we kept him around anyway? Been used up to the point of being too embarrassed to tell even our BFF? You know what I’m talking about. If you don’t methinks you aren’t telling yourself the truth.
We strong “Sistah’s” walk around with our noses turned so far up in the air that if hail starts to fall we are going to get hit smack in the face and Lord please don’t let it rain too hard or we just might drown. Every time we hear about another woman having issues with her man we are quick to say “umm unh, not me. Gurrrlll, I would/wouldn’t…” – you fill in the blank. We become so incensed with the situation and we swear no mother’s son would get away with that “if it were me”.  Maybe and maybe not.  The truth is we don’t know what we would do. As for me, I am a sh!# talking Sistah from way back and I have little patience for a man who doesn’t do the right thing. However, I have been in relationships where I was just a “puredeefool” letting a brother get away with stuff that now would garner me a cell at the Lew (and I’m not talking about the Louvre Museum in France).  I am, however, not a patient woman and I don’t like feeling like a “puredeefool” so my mindcation from reality only lasts for so long at which point somebody gots to get to stepping. But that’s me.
I tell you this, what I have learned over the years is that we don’t have the right to judge someone else and, unless we are asked, we need to keep our opinions to ourselves because telling them what we would do is really a misnomer.  I mean really, do we know what we would do? I would like to think I won’t ever again allow myself to be in a position to be used, misused, mistreated or under appreciated by anyone, especially a man who claims to care for me. Yet, it could happen.

Finally, I offer this – if you can help someone along the way then do it without tsking, judging, or acting as though your sh!# doesn’t stink ‘cause it does. Stop acting like you haven’t been on a major trip with some man. Personally, I believe in what the Bible says: “to whom much is given much is required”.